


Her Last Choice

by Sasugaafee



Series: Drabbletober2k17 [7]
Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, AnsutaNL, Day 7 - A Death of Someone Close, Drabbletober, F/M, HokuAnzu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 09:27:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12767988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasugaafee/pseuds/Sasugaafee
Summary: The announcement just sounded like terrible noises in his ears. He didn't quite catch it, not like he wanted to hear it either, but it made him nauseous. A great loss they never thought would happen really fast."Life is hard for everyone. We all have our own distresses, we have our ups and downs. You guys probably experienced far greater damage than me, I understand it that much. Yet, not everyone could bear with it."





	Her Last Choice

**Author's Note:**

> October has ended but I just get to move my fics now so whatever

Everything just didn't feel real for him. Maybe it all happened too fast that his head couldn't keep up with it. As a student he was considerably smart, an honor student, he was always quick to grasp the situation.

Only for this matter, though, he refused to understand.

It happened in front of his eyes, yet he still refused to accept the reality.

Just why?

This morning they were all called to assemble in the hall because there was something to announce.

A great loss they never thought would happen really fast.

The announcement just sounded like terrible noises in his ears. He didn't quite catch it, not like he wanted to hear it either, but it made him nauseous.

He already knew about it, no need to tell him again. He witnessed it,

and at that moment so his heart shattered in pieces.

"Everyone... We just received a really heartbreaking news today. Yesterday, a student of our school... the only female student here... our dear producer, was found dead in the school ground. Polices are still investigating it, but there's possibility that she jumped on her own accord." Kunugi-sensei said while trying to calm his own wavering voice, "... Let us pray together for her soul."

He could hear everyone tensed and gasped and cried. The hall was filled with cries of grief instantly. Mourning over her death, over the fact that they couldn't see her smile ever again, over the memories they spent together in Yumenosaki.

He hadn't shed a tear, though.

He just sat there, covering both his ears, his eyes shut tight.

Why couldn't he reach for her? If only he was a bit faster, if only his heart was a little stronger than this, if only he...

"... this is just a terrible nightmare, right?" He could hear Makoto weeped.

If only he could wake up right at this moment to see her smile in front of him again.

"You must be freaking kidding me... What the heck, Anzu? JUST STOP WITH THIS NONSENSE!! I WON'T ACCEPT THIS. JUST.... WHAT THE HELL!?"

He could also hear a senior's annoyed grunt in between his crier, until that leader of Knights slapped him just to bring him back to his senses.

"SHUT UP, SENA. OPEN YOUR EYES! This is reality... that she's gone. She has left us."

Even seniors from the other units were grieving about her death.

Thinking that death could save her so she left this world,

Running away from her griefs, yet leaving a deep wound in everyone's heart which could never be healed.

How selfish, Anzu.

If only this was all just a big terrible joke that they could laugh it off.

If only, if only, if only, if only, if only.

Hidaka Hokuto is usually a logical kid. He would always see reality as it is, no matter how bitter it is, then tried to change it. A revolution.

But just for this moment, which could never be undone, he liked to let all the ifs floating in his mind.

Hopelessly wishing for it to be true.

An empty hope.

 

* * *

 

They visited her grave, praying for her to finally find her peace. Hokuto watched them crying in front of her tombstone while placing the flowers. He chose to stay silent as they left one by one, until he was the only one left in that quiet cemetery.

His hand reached to caress her tombstone.

It was probably because of the cold, so cold on the tips of his fingers, it actually pricked his heart. Bringing back the overwhelming pain in his heart when he could only watch her fell.

The tears that he had been holding back, now streamed down his cheeks without any hint of stopping.

So suffocating, so hurting, so painful, everything just hurt. He wanted to forget yet he couldn't. He shouldn't. He just wanted to scream yet his voice wouldn't come out.  
His heart shattered.

The scene when he found her on the rooftop played back in his mind.

 

* * *

  
_"Anzu, what are you doing over there? That's dangerous. Quick, get away from that fence!"_

  
_She didn't move, though._

  
_"I don't want to."_

  
_"Anzu, this joke is not funny."_

  
_"I hope my whole existence is also a joke so I could just laugh it off... but my jokes are terrible so I guess it won't be that funny either."_

  
_Hokuto frowned, she continued while smiling bitterly._

  
_"Death doesn't discriminate between the saints and sinners, you know? It takes... and it takes... and it takes.... and it takes away everything without ever giving them back," she said. "I want it to take away my pain."_

  
_"This is not a solution..."_

  
_"Life is hard for everyone. We all have our own distresses, we have our ups and downs. You guys probably experienced far greater damage than me, I understand it that much."_

  
_A pause._

  
_"Yet, not everyone could bear with it. Many just wanted for it to end already, searching for a sanctuary that would grant them a peace of mind which they couldn't find in life."_

  
_Hokuto gritted his teeth when his legs wouldn't move._

  
_"Dying is easy, Hokuto-kun. Living is harder."_

  
_"Anzu, we know you are stronger than this. Please get away from that fence... I beg you."_

  
_"I am... in no means, that strong," she frowned. "I am weak and damaged, far too damaged and useless. Not at all worthy to keep on living... my breath was just a waste of oxygen. I'd_ _probably better be off dead."_

_"I'm getting mad, Anzu."_

_She giggled._

_"Please don't get mad at me for wanting all of this to end. Please just remember," Anzu smiled genuinely at him this time, tears flowed across her cheeks . "I sincerely cherish the time we spent together, I will always keep it in my heart."_

  
_Hokuto cursed himself, his whole body shivered. He dropped on his knees, couldn't bear to stand any longer. It still wouldn't move just to reach her. Why?_

  
_"Anzu... Please."_

  
_"Hokuto-kun," she called him. "Do you know the reason why you're still alive while so many have died? What is the meaning of your life? For what reason you should continue living?"_

  
_"... I don't know the reason exactly," he answered a bit hesitantly. "But They has given me time, even if I don't know the reason then I'm willing to wait for it. Wait for my own self to bring a meaning to my life! We shouldn't give up!"_

  
_"Right..." she looked content. "That's so you, Hokuto-kun. Please keep on living your life to the fullest like that! I always admire you guys, performing on that sparkling stage... so far of my reach. I wouldn't even dare trying to reach. Please keep on bringing smile to everyone's faces, Trickstar."_

  
_"ANZU I BEG YOU PLEASE STOP."_

  
_"... This is farewell. Thank you."_

  
_It was the last time he could see her._

 

* * *

  
In the end, he couldn't do anything.

  
When his legs finally moved it was already far too late, she had slipped out of his reach.

  
In front of her tomb, he could only grieve.

  
"Anzu, you fool. We don't decide who's worthy to live or die...," He grasped the tombstone. "... Life could be beautiful but you gave up without trying to wait for it, huh?"

  
In that lonely cemetery his wail grew louder.

  
"Why, Anzu.... Why...."

  
Whether death or life would never discriminate between the saints or the sinners.

  
It takes, and it takes, and it takes, and it takes...

  
until no more.


End file.
